Editorial: Face It, Tiger - No Uncertain Terms

You may well read comics. You may even love comics. But can you really 'talk' comics? Ninth Art presents Wheeler's Glossary Of Comic Book Terms, because it's no longer enough to just know what you like.
19 December 2003

Welcome to Wheeler's Glossary Of Comic Book Terms, your handy and informative guide to the terms, references and language that make up the basics of comics appreciation. Read and absorb the information contained in this glossary, and you too can loudly and obnoxiously irritate people in your local comic store with your braying observations next time you go in to pick up the latest DANGER GIRL collection.

alternative - Comics with at least one lesbian character, or a talking animal. Really alternative comics have a lesbian talking animal. Thanks to the output of James Kochalka, alternative comics now account for 97% of the industry.

bande dessinée - Comics spanning multiple genres, appealing to all ages, and sold in a wide variety of venues, often created by recognised masters of the form to exceptionally high standards. Clearly this is an elaborate fantasy, and proof that foreigners are not to be trusted. Especially the French.

bookstore market - The future salvation of the comic industry, and the road to popular acceptance. The only thing stopping comics from achieving significant mainstream success is, of course, the fact that they aren't widely available. It has nothing to do with their being largely mediocre and prohibitively overpriced.

British, the - Group of creators united by their cynical dislike for superheroes and their frustrated literary aspirations. And their nationality. Big in the 90s. Also, better in the 90s.

Bronze Age - The third age of comics history (see 'golden age' and 'silver age'). The era that saw the advent of gritty social realism, with stories about a young crime-fighting archer named Speedy succumbing to his drug addiction, and a black man in a tiara yelling 'Sweet Christmas' in a ghetto.

comics blogosphere - Name given to the loose affiliation of comic commentators who spend much of their time linking to each other's mentions of something they said yesterday. Not to be confused with the Comics Biosphere, an aborted attempt by CrossGen to devise its own version of the Eden Project. The publisher locked Chuck Dixon in a contained environment with three monkeys and a laptop, and waited to see which of them would be first to knock out an issue of EL CAZADOR.

comix - How people who want to be segregated from other, more plebeian comics readers like to spell 'comics'.

creator-owned - Synonym for 'would really benefit from a copy editor'.

digest - Trade paperback that looks silly next to all the other trade paperbacks on your shelf.

direct market, the - Clever system for restricting the distribution of comics to fringe specialist shops run by enthusiasts, designed to control and retard the wildfire popularity of comics and prevent the widespread seduction of innocents.

Direct Market, the - Same as above, but with capital letters to make it seem more important.

exclusive contract - What male comic creators look for when their wives get pregnant.

fanboy - Term used to describe those loathsome, awful, despicable people who buy and are actually enthusiastic about comics.

Golden Age - The first age of comics history. The era when everything in comics was so new that no one noticed how crap it all was. Thankfully, that has now changed, and today we all know exactly how crap it all is.

graphic novel - The only thing in comics publishing with a spine.

House of Ideas, the - Term coined by Marvel ringmaster emeritus Stan Lee to describe his company. In common with most showmen, it is difficult to know whether Lee ever had a working understanding of irony, but it is assumed the term was meant sincerely. Recent notable ideas at 'the House' have included the relaunch of THUNDERBOLTS with a completely different creative team, cast and plot; bringing back Scott Lobdell's ALPHA FLIGHT; asking internet comic journalists to pitch books based on fifth tier Marvel concepts; and employing digital artist Chuck Austen to write its biggest flagship titles. It is true that Lee never stipulated that the ideas should be any good.

iconic - Of or relating to an enduring symbol. The term is often applied to comics that attempt to explore the symbolic value of superheroes. But mostly it's applied to comics that have an analogue of Superman in them.

indie - The name given to the early works of creators who now write poorly selling launch titles for doomed fringe imprints at major publishing houses. Traditionally black and white, and featuring perfect girlfriends and the men who aren't good enough to love them.

Kirbyesque - Any comic with a panel where a guy holds out his hand towards the reader like he's Dennis Quaid in Jaws 3-D.

Kirbytech - What the future looked like fifty years ago; mostly quite boxy, and covered in zigzags.

mainstream, the - Sector of the comic industry where romance, humour, crime and drama are all hugely unpopular, but Wolverine does quite well.

manga - Like bande dessinée, but inscrutable and efficient.

minimalist - Comics that don't use much ink.

Morrisonesque - Term used to describe comics so laden down with ideas that you'll only look stupid if you admit that you didn't understand them. Named for creator Grant Morrison, the term can also be applied to comics that deliberately attempt to emulate his style; also called 'Mark Millar comics'.

New Marvel - Same as the old Marvel.

newsstand - According to legend, once a place that sold comics. Comics still feature on the newsstand, as they get mentioned once a year in Rolling Stone, and possibly twice in Entertainment Weekly. This usually leads to excited proclamations about how comics are finally breaking in to the mainstream, because they're now being mentioned in a place where they used to be sold.

pamphlet - One of several alternative terms offered to describe those stapled paper sequential art periodicals that are more popularly called 'comics'. It's not entirely clear what's wrong with the existing term, which has been used quite happily for years without causing the slightest confusion. It may be argued that the term suggests comedy, presumably in the same way that the term 'soap opera' suggests singing in the shower. It is of course quite understandable that the industry would want to distance itself from something as unpopular and controversial as comedy.

post-modern superheroes - The practise of taking 1960s comic book characters and applying the fresh, exciting, challenging moral attitudes of 1970s cinema.

retro - Comics drawn with a pencil and coloured with pens.

sequential art - What comic creators tell their mothers they do for a living.

Silver Age - The second age of comics history. The era that anticipated the invention of Mark Waid.

small press - Comic creators with their own staplers. Some of them also own scissors.

trade paperback - Ingenious device for keeping bad comics in print and exposing them to a wider audience.

underground - Comics where the female characters are fat and the male characters are going bald.

Vertigo - Research and development division for DC, responsible for finding people to write Batman comics. Revered among teenagers who don't own any coloured t-shirts.

widescreen - A style of comics storytelling featuring spectacular over-the-top visuals that seem too big for the panel or the page. Very popular around the turn of the century. Lost momentum due to being limited to the output of Bryan Hitch, who produces comics at about the same rate that Dave Sim gets laid.

Andrew Wheeler is a London-based entertainment journalist.

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