This is all Andrew Wheeler's fault.

Because of him, I'm actually going to open and read Previews and even the special little ghetto addendum that they shoehorn all of the Marvel product into.

(Bastard.)

Now, there's a lot of bitching about the Previews format. "Oh, its so big." "I don't like how it's organized." (Yes, putting the biggest publishers up front and then everybody else in alphabetically is terrible. I mean, it's just like the f'in phone book - all those government and state agencies in the first ten or so pages, and then everybody else in alphabetical order.) "Why do they even list all those others, I'm just going to buy DC and Marvel?" (And your store freaking sucks.) I'm not going to get into that. I'm just here to go through the catalogue.

The cover - "The deadliest secret ... IDENTITY CRISIS."

Yeah, because we so need a seven issue JLA mini series that will be retconned into oblivion in a few months.

Pages 12-15 are devoted to Free Comic Book Day. Gold and Silver sponsors get the picture of their books and a brief write up. Bronze Sponsors just get teensy pictures of their company logos and no write up. Would it have hurt terribly to at least mention the names of the books they're donating? All in all, I think FCBD rocks, and there's a wonderful variety of books. But how many retailers take advantage of FCBD to pimp unusual comics or try and hook the moms, girlfriends, and sisters who wander in to stores?

DARK HORSE

BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #90, by Hiroaki Samura
APR04 0077, p25, $2.99

Betcha thought I was going to pick something from Neil Gaiman or Mike Mignola's oeuvre, dincha? Heh, give me this wonderful sudsy manga "swords and sandals" story of revenge and love instead. Not only is Hiroaki Samura's art really nice, but he's the only writer/artist who has actually written a story so violent and so gory it made me physically ill.

STAR WARS: REPUBLIC #66, by Jon Ostrander and Jan Duursema
APR04 0131, p43, $2.99

Most of the STAR WARS tie-in comics I just ignore. However, for the fine team of Ostrander and Duursema, I always make an exception. It's too bad these two aren't the driving forces behind the next movie, because their tales of renegade Jedi Quinlan Vos are actually well crafted and satisfying reads. Oh, and Duursema draws like nobody's business.

DC COMICS

I read quite a few DC comics... er, that is, I read a lot of WildStorm and Vertigo books. However, there's one project coming out of the main DCU that I'm really wound up over:

CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN #1, by Howard Chaykin
APR04 0299, p70, $2.95

I'm one of three people in the US who read and loved AMERICAN CENTURY. If CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN turns out to be one tenth as abrasive, shocking and funny as Howard Chaykin is in person, and one fifteenth as bile-filled as AMERICAN CENTURY, it will be a damn good read. Oh, and Chaykin's also drawing the damn thing. I am so there. I know nothing about the CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN, I just know that Howard Chaykin is a damn good writer (and a damn good artist). Unfortunately, the rest of comicsdumb will be jacking off over the next Marvel flash in the pan, so this is probably going to fly under the radar of most retailers.

SLEEPER SEASON TWO #1, by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips
APR04 0357, p113, $2.95

The dismal sales on season one make me want to stomp comicsdumb until its faxable. Season One was all about paranoia, double-dealing, backstabbing, making hard choices, and even making some friends. Now that legendary WSU badass John Lynch is finally out of his coma, all of that is going to get kicked up about three notches. And frankly, the "marriage" between Ed Brubaker's story and Sean Phillips' art is second to none.

IMAGE

CLOUDBURST #1, by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, Christopher Shy and Eliseu Gouveia
APR04 1390, p140, $7.95

This is a 64-page graphic novel from the fine writing team of Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti. They do a whole slew of criminally overlooked comics for DC. CLOUDBURST, however, has a slickly drawn Hot Chick Packing A Gun (TM) so maybe comicsdumb will pick it up expecting a little T&A, and not a tightly plotted Sci-Fi story about a scientist named Lauren Moore who discovers that the planet she's been sent to terraform already has colonists on it. What's a little mass murder when it means a corporation can make big bucks, right?

ARCHAIA STUDIOS PRESS

ARTESIA ANNUAL #3, by Mark Smylie
APR04 2323, p228, $4.95

This annual follows the tradition of the other two. One short story about what's going on in the Daradjan Highlands, and another about events in Artesia's camp. After these 48 pages of yummy goodness, fans of the best original fantasy series going will have another long wait for next year's story arc.

CROSSGEN

BRATH #17, by Chuck Dixon and Alcatena
APR04 2467, p255, $2.95

Say what you will about Chuck Dixon's numb-nutz political and social views, not to mention how formulaic and predictable his writing often is, but this swords-and-sandals series managed to combine the best of GLADIATOR and I, CLAUDIUS. I'm hoping for a big bloody 'everybody dies horribly' swansong of an ending to a fun series that too many people just wrote off without reading.

DEVIL'S DUE PUBLISHING

THE HEDGE KNIGHT TPB, by George RR Martin, Ben Avery, Mike S Miller and Ted Naismith
APR04 2555, p276, $14.95

I've been getting THE HEDGE KNIGHT in floppies, but I'll be picking up the trade, too. The team at Roaring Studios pleased fans by remaining very faithful to the source material of the much loved GRR Martin story, and this trade's got a special treat guaranteed to get GRR Martin fans to buy it... an all new short story!

DORK STORM PRESS

ATTACK OF THE POLITICAL CARTOONISTS, by various
APR04 2570, p278, $17.99

The folks at Dork Storm are best known for their tongue-in-cheek spoof-laden comics such as PS 238 and NODWICK. So it's a bit of a surprise that they'd come out with an anthology collecting political cartoons, but given how spot on the send ups in their comics are, I'm sure they've picked the cream of the crop. This TPB also contains a forward by a politician I'd actually vote for, Senator John McCain.

FANTAGRAPHICS BOOKS

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE, by Jason
APR04 2660, p296, $12.95

I first discovered the works of Jason when I got my hands on an original Norwegian edition of SHHHH! Quirky, funny, universal stuff. This time he's giving us his off-kilter (yet dead on) take on the whole Frankenstein mythos... only this time around, it's a love triangle. Laugh, cry, and through it all, have your socks knocked off by Jason's ability to tell a story.

ONI PRESS

QUEEN & COUNTRY #25, by Greg Rucka and Steve Rolston
APR04 2820, p320, $5.99

If you're thinking the price is a bit steep, this is 48 pages of the other most intelligent spy-thriller comic on the shelves today. Greg Rucka and Steve Rolston reunite to give agent Tara Chace some time off in Switzerland. Snerk. As if. If I were god, Q&C would be a monthly and in the top 100 comics, but as it is, the sheer idea of 48 pages of Q&C goodness has me doing a fangirl squeel.

TOKYOPOP

It's too bad that TokyoPop and Viz don't get Previews covers, or that they're not at the front of the book, because frankly, their sales are blowing the doors off of DC and Marvel and everybody else, and manga is here to stay.

Oh, wait, yeah, DC and Marvel sell more through Diamond to the direct market stores, but if you look at the money they make selling through the regular bookstore channels, it's a completely different story. TokyoPop makes serious bank because it has a diverse line with something for everybody - not just comicsdumb and cranky tarts who like "guy stuff". Same thing with Viz.

That said...

KARE KANO #10, by Masami Tsuda
APR04 2904, p331, $9.99

I hate American romantic comedies. They are neither romantic nor comedic, and I don't recognise any of the people in them, nor the situations they find themselves in.

KARE KANO is none of these things. It's a genuinely funny and genuinely romantic comedy that centres on a group of teens. In this issue, Maho confesses her feelings for Takashi, and uh, he actually tells her the truth: he's not really a thing like the idealized version of him that she's built up. Honest, witty, and funny, KARE KANO sells like gangbusters in bookstores and in comic stores owned by people with a clue.

VIZ

HOT GIMMICK #5, by Miki Aihara
APR04 2995, p345, $9.95

If KARE KANO is the good side of high school life and young love, then Miki Aihara's HOT GIMMICK is the flipside. It's not romantic, it's not funny. In fact, it's filled with people who can be manipulative, cruel and downright creepy. It's not something you'd ever see in American comics or TV. But if it were on American TV, it'd be on HBO.

It's an utterly believable tale of peer pressure, vindictiveness, and a genuinely nice and naive (but not stupid) girl who's found herself in the middle of several intersecting nexuses of family dysfunction. God... that sounds so academic and clinical. But, let me put it this way. Everything that happens to Hatsumi is either very similar to things that happened to me in high school, or it happened to friends of mine. And despite all this crap that's happening to her, Hatsumi keeps her chin up and keeps chugging on through.

Now, at this point, you may be wondering why I've not spotlighted any Marvel comics. It's simple. I don't read any Marvel comics. I've been insulted as a woman fan, a person, the wife of a retailer, and as a journalist by the rudeness of the staff at Marvel, and I've seen several friends of mine treated very badly by them.

I won't buy Starbucks coffee until they apologise to Kieron Dwyer. I vote with my dollars. I don't drink Starbucks swill. I don't read or endorse Marvel comics.

Katherine Keller is a staff writer for the comics webzine Sequential Tart.

This article is Ideological Freeware. The author grants permission for its reproduction and redistribution by private individuals on condition that the author and source of the article are clearly shown, no charge is made, and the whole article is reproduced intact, including this notice.