HE COULD BE WRONG, HE COULD BE WRIGHT

So I don't know if anyone else heard about this, but apparently Micah Wright (STORMWATCH: TEAM ACHILLES) lied about being in the military. Yeah, I know. I think this story got buried in the comics press too. Anyway, I've read over Wright's admission of his lie a few times and there's one part that I keep tripping over:

"A day later, the article ran. My outrageous lies were printed verbatim. They'd dedicated two full pages to a ridiculous hoax which could have been exposed with a half hour's work. My beliefs in the veracity of the corporate media had been shaken previously, but now they were shattered. I couldn't figure it out. How had this happened? I stared at the paper in shock. Then I realized that The Washington Post had only done what they normally do: run whatever anyone in a uniform or position of authority told them to."

Richard Leiby, the reporter who originally did the story on Wright in The Washington Post responded with this: "Pursuing a tip from real Rangers who'd never heard of Wright, we filed three Freedom of Information Act requests with separate Army commands - and last month finally confirmed that Wright never served." Getting information through the Freedom of Information Act sometimes takes a bit of time. However, I can't really fault the Post for taking Wright's word at face value.

Why? Well, the world doesn't revolve around Micah Wright. What reason did The Washington Post have to refute Wright's claim that he was a Ranger? Who would be that stupid to lie about something like that?

The Post started researching the validity of Wright's claim once letters from sceptical Rangers came pouring in. But that's how things work. This led Leiby to search a little deeper into Wright's claims. Its not that the Post had fallen prey to Wright's clever hoax, just that no one thought Wright was stupid enough to lie about being a Ranger to help sell books.

The rest of Wright's statement is pure damage control. I can't fault him for that. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one likes to eat crow. But when you're faking a military career to help sell your anti-war books, well, that's a little bizarre. And then to have the gall to say that it was all a hoax meant to test people's belief in the news...

"After all, Governor George W Bush had done the same thing in 2000 when running for president. Questions arose and were quickly squashed about his military service. Even today, Bush still hasn't released all of his military records but no one in the media is crying out for them. It's no wonder that my much smaller-scale hoax worked! Of course, this doesn't excuse my hoax... but it certainly motivated it."

Well, that's just plain demented. I'd like to be able to defend Wright, as I really enjoyed YOU BACK THE ATTACK (Seven Stories Press), Wright's collection of modified vintage propaganda posters. It's beautifully designed, full of wit and it has a positive humanistic message. I still think it's a great book, and he's capable of creating more great work, but as a brand, Wright's name is now toxic. He might as well have been caught masturbating in a Florida porno theatre.

Ultimately I think that Micah Wright is an indisputably talented person, who could have sold YOU BACK THE ATTACK based on the sheer merit of the work itself. It's a shame Seven Stories Press has cancelled publication of his follow up, IF YOU'RE NOT A TERRORIST, THEN STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. Both books were perfectly valid pieces of political art, but Wright's lies have severely undermined their effectiveness.

It wasn't a hoax. It wasn't meant to test the tenacity of the media (though, in all honesty, the media does need to be more tenacious about the questions they ask of our politicians). I don't know what it was. Does anyone? Does he?

What we do know is that Wright's claim that he was a Ranger was a completely unnecessary lie. People were already paying attention to him based on the work. Wright may yet bound back into comics or political commentary after all of the furore has died down, but will anyone care to listen?

CAN SPIDER-MAN COVER THE BASES?

If there's one thing televised sports aren't short of, it's advertisements. Ads appear on the walls behind the fields, the leader boards, the scoreboards, on virtual billboards and on onscreen pop-ups. Logos are spread all over the player's shoes, the drinking cups and the equipment. Sporting events have become an orgy of advertisements, so it may seem inevitable that such prime real estate as the bases in a Major League baseball game would someday be up for grabs.

It was recently announced that ads for SPIDER-MAN 2 were going to be the inaugural advertisement on the bases, but the forces of darkness have since been forced into retreat. When the idea was first announced, Jacqueline Parks, baseball's senior vice president for marketing and advertising (and with that job description, you know she's not all twisted on the inside) defended the move: "We need to reach out to a younger demographic to bring them to the ballpark. ... It's the future of how we generate excitement inside the stadium and about the game itself." I for one make all of my entertainment decisions based on the variety of advertisements that will be on offer there!

As the kid who was almost always picked last in sports, I did get a sick thrill out of the notion of sports needing comic book characters to spiff up their appeal, but the last thing we need is for every open space in the world to be turned into an advertisement. A baseball game isn't a Tivo. A baseball game shouldn't be searching through a satellite feed to find other things that I might like based on the fact that I gave baseball a thumbs up.

Thankfully, as soon as the furore began, polls were taken, opinions were expressed, and the plan was dropped. Cranks of the world unite! Meanwhile, I'm writing this with sore joints and a twisted ankle incurred from trying to prove myself at basketball. Apparently, I haven't yet gotten over the angst of being picked last.

IF YOU GO INTO THE WOOD TODAY

Since we're getting all political about things in the wake of Micahgate, I've finally found a candidate I can stand behind. That's right; Philippe from ACHEWOOD is the only candidate with a platform I can agree with. ACHEWOOD is the long-running webcomic by Chris Onstad. The Sunday edition can be read at SERIALIZER.

If each PEANUTS strip taken alone could be considered a haiku about the loneliness and alienation of childhood, then ACHEWOOD could be considered a haiku about things that don't really translate too well into conversations. Like finding a bottle of your friend's cheap booze that smells like "someone's working on a car" and then feeling uncertain about whether or not to dump it out and fill it up with something decent. He might like that cheap booze.

Hard to say. That's ACHEWOOD in a nutshell. The characters that inhabit ACHEWOOD consist primarily of cats. There's Ray, Roast Beef and Little Nephew. There's also Mr Bear, Philippe and Lyle. They drink and write romance novels. One key factor in learning the ACHEWOOD language is to read a handful of strips in one sitting. Taken alone, it's hit or miss, but once you've found the groove, ACHEWOOD is much-needed daily bite of absurdity.

Frank Smith is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn, New York.

This article is Ideological Freeware. The author grants permission for its reproduction and redistribution by private individuals on condition that the author and source of the article are clearly shown, no charge is made, and the whole article is reproduced intact, including this notice.